Company needs a motto and a catchy logo. Can’t come up with it yourself? Pay someone else to come up with it (*cough* Cimetta Design *cough*).

Cracked posted their 9 most meaningless corporate slogans. Why not make it 10? Answer: They probably had to stop what they’re doing to watch the Daily Show.

But Cracked did call attention to some pretty lame slogans. The Captain Morgan pirate telling you to “Drink Responsibly” is weird, kinda like the Dos Equis old guy imploring everyone to “Stay Thirsty” (there’s your number 10, Cracked; c’mon, people).

Coming in at number 5 is American Eagle’s barn burner of a slogan: Live Your Life.

Somebody, or maybe even a staff of people, got paid for the slogan equivalent of a teenager saying, “Whatever.”

I can’t even walk into an American Eagle because their windows are adorned with pictures of 90% nude models. They sell clothes, right? Oh, and they hire 16 year-olds?

Something is off here.

Maybe I’m just the guy going through a quarter-life crisis while listening to Wu-Tang Clan at a cyber cafe , but I wouldn’t let my kid work/shop/walk by an American Eagle…which is me living my life.

But, hey, since the American Eagle board of directors collectively read this blog, that lazy slogan shouldn’t be an issue much longer. You really don’t have to be like Shakespeare just give it a shot.